By Margaret Altman
Most parents will want to begin the new year with a few healthy resolutions. One of these will probably be to reduce their levels of stress. From all the studies out there, we know that stress is not healthy for anyone, and certainly not for parents. Research demonstrates, for example, that stress impairs the human memory and can destroy the immune system. Being pregnant, having a child and raising a child in this hectic world is bound to include a dose of stress. Many parents have written in with questions that are similar to this one: QUESTION: I am pregnant and expecting my second child. I want this experience to be more positive than my first pregnancy because I was under a lot of pressure at that time. I know that stress is bad for pregnant women, parents and children, and it’s stressful trying to think of ways to reduce the stress. What can I do, in practical terms, to deal with the issues I have and still keep my stress level under control?
ANSWER: Parents are under enormous pressures these days and are bombarded with advice on toys, strategies to induce sleeping, feeding tips, discipline guidelines and much more.
In several new and interesting pieces of research, there is a nugget of information that should be passed along to parents because it directly deals with the stress issue.
Parents should know that even before the baby is born, the mother’s perception of her situation is going to influence the baby’s temperament. A mother’s level of anxiety about child-birth and pregnancy issues in general does have an effect upon the infant’s emotional and cognitive development at 3 months and at 8 months old. The level of anxiety is a more important factor during pregnancy than daily hassles in terms of the infant’s emotional and cognitive development.
The most useful part of all this information is that several things can and will reduce the anxiety, and should be a part of every parent’s preparation for having and raising children.
Asking questions during pregnancy and, of course, all the way through child rearing, is an excellent way of reducing anxiety. All you mothers and fathers who seek answers and do your research are actually improving the situation for your child.
Fathers and other family members can encourage the mother-to-be to express her anxieties and seek answers for her questions. An anxious mother is not a “normal” state of being. The myth that a pregnant woman has to be “moody” and fearful is simply a myth. The level of anxiety does impact the unborn child.
For pregnant women, joining support groups and engaging in pleasurable activities is a positive thing to do in terms of sharing your feelings and reducing stress in general.
If you find that you continue to feel on edge or uncertain about pregnancy related issues, seek professional help. It may take only one or two sessions to greatly reduce your anxieties and give you specific strategies for maintaining your emotional health.
Pregnant women can go through daily hassles such as problems with other children, or work-related issues, and not have these hassles impact their pregnancy. The most important thing is how the pregnant woman perceives the situation and if she has good coping abilities, she is less likely to feel stressed. The most effective coping strategies for life’s hassles are to take things one step at a time, ask for help when you need it, and make sure that you have supportive people around you. (Margaret Altman L.C.S.W. is the author of Developing Your Child’s Emotional Intelligence (birth through age 3). The author is in private practice in Sherman Oaks with Dr. A Korchmarev, M.D. Asst. Clinical Professor, UCLA).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on December 30, 2003. Read the original PDF.