Hypnotherapists are not licensed by the state of California as healing arts practitioners; for your benefit and protection, work on some issues may require a written referral from a licensed physician or mental health professional. I LOVE THIS LITTLE BUBBLE WE LIVE IN here in Los Angeles — especially Hollywood. I love the fact that people who don’t know the difference between the Electoral College and community college are endorsing candidates. I love the fact that people who are famous because they are attractive and have the ability to walk and talk at the same time (also called acting) think their opinions matter. And I love the fact that actors and entertainers in our fair city set the trends that the rest of the country will eventually follow, despite the fact that a lot of these people aren’t capable of getting through their day without the help of assistants, nannies, stylists, publicists, and drivers. There is one recent trend, however, that gives me pause: The new infatuation with motherhood.
In 2006, the infant became the “must-have accessory” in Hollywood. Last year, with the undeniable return of the pre-baby body for Katie Holmes, Angelina Jolie, Heidi Klum, and Gwen Stefani, it became clear that a woman could have a family and still be hot enough to earn a living in front of the camera. Then it was on. Now you can’t swing a teenage paparazzo on Robertson Boulevard without hitting a celebrity with a bun in the oven.
As a public service, I will now quote my sainted grandmother, Lurlene Patterson (rest in peace, Nana), who once told me,“the most important thing a father can do for his kids is to love their mother.”
What she was saying was that a father teaches his kids how a man should behave by example. He shows his boy children how to treat women (in general) and the woman he loves (in particular); at the same time, he shows his girl children what to expect (and what not to accept) from a man.
For this new crop of Hollywood MILF’s-to-be (or MTB’s), the dynamic is reversed, but the premise is still the same. The point being that when a mom and a dad can demonstrate to their kids that they are committed to loving and supporting each other no matter what, those kids are much less likely to settle for anything less from their partners.
Why is that so important? Because it’s so rare. In my circle of friends, only two or three out of 10 sets of parents have done the right thing (stayed married, remained faithful, and were focused on raising healthy, well-adjusted kids). In a city like ours (which cannibalizes its young), the importance of good parenting is magnified a thousand times. And in the Internet age, the old practice of inventing a romantic back-story to tell the kids when they get old enough to ask how mommy and daddy met is over. You’re going to have to tell them the truth, even if you can’t handle it.
Do you understand what I’m saying, Nicole Richie? Are you listening to me, Halle Berry? Me entiendes, Jessica Alba? The biology is simple: The sperm fertilizes the egg, which grows into the fetus, which becomes the child. In that process, you only need a man for his seed and nine months later you have your “Mini Me”; born to parents who may or may not actually love each other and a “celebrity” for life, whether or not he or she wants to be. The child-rearing is much more difficult.
I have gotten comfortable with the idea that I’ll have to look at pictures of Suri Cruise, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, and Jayden James Federline every time I buy food at a supermarket for the next 30 years. These Hollywood MTB’s need to get comfortable with the idea that in another 20 years (or less), it could be their daughter being rolled into an ambulance semi-nude and whacked out of her mind on anti-depressants and booze, surrounded by paparazzi and with helicopters circling overhead if they, as moms, don’t do the right thing and proactively provide their kids with some kind of male role model.
I say this because we’re all watching it happen to my beloved Britney and her little sister before our eyes. Lynne Spears put her daughters in front of the camera at an incredibly young age (just like these Hollywood MTB’s are going to do, whether they want to or not) and in the process, sold all three of their souls to the entertainment industry. It’s a shame, too, because all the money in the world won’t give her or her daughters the one thing they really want — a husband and father who loves them.
KENNY MACK is a writer, comedian, and loving uncle to twelve nieces & nephews living in Santa Monica. He
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 6, 2008. Read the original PDF.