LAST WEEK, THERE WERE TWO significant developments. Al Gore was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize and a U.N. report described global warming as a “runaway train that could take centuries to reverse.” (Be thankful I left out the other big development — female astronaut is arrested for attempted murder while wearing a diaper.) Back on earth, there was also an A.C. Nielson survey on global warming. I can’t imagine a rock that big, but it seems 13 percent of Americans have never heard of global warming. That’s only slightly less than those who think Elvis is alive (15 percent) and that Vice-President Cheney is doing a good job (17 percent.) It turns out we emit a quarter of all greenhouse gases. We’re bigger polluters than China, Russia or India. (We’re No. 1!) But President Bush claims global warming is only a theory. (Gravity, evolution and relativity are only theories, too.) Bush prays every night. I pray too. I started when he took office.
The survey revealed 57 percent of people around the world considered global warming a “very serious problem,” and 34 percent rate it a “serious problem.” People in Latin America were most worried, while we were the least. Years ago, the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” was a big hit here. Now it could be, “Don’t Worry, We’ll Find Another Planet.”
People in China and Brazil were most convinced of global warming’s link to human activities, whereas Americans were least convinced. Latin Americans, worried by damage to coffee or banana crops, and people in the Czech Republic, hit by 2002 floods, were most concerned. As I’ve often said: “Those Latin Americans are such wor-ryworts, and the Czechs aren’t much better.”
During the State of the Union, Bush admitted there was a “serious challenge,” but referred to it as “climate change.” I love his catch phrases, like “sectarian violence” instead of “civil war,” and “we’re winning the war” means “at least we’re not losing.” To fight global warming, I’m just glad Bush isn’t considering sending 21,000 troops to the sun.
The U.N. report reads like a B-movie. (Unless you own land in Arizona that becomes oceanfront property, in which case it’s a feel-good movie.) Sea levels will rise 7-23 inches, augmented by 4-8 inches if Arctic ice melt continues. It’s 99 percent probable that human activities are the main cause. Bush might boast that leaves 1 percent chance he’s right, which is his batting average on just about everything.
“Addicted to oil.” — Bush recently went out on a limb and said we were However, like iraq and the deficits, it will fall to the next president to fix
While most scientists agree that temperatures are higher because of fossil fuels, in 2006 ExxonMobil recorded $40 billion in profits, the most for any corporation in history. That’s $5 million an hour! I didn’t think you could print money that fast! The profits came in handy for paying $10,000 to select scientists to moderate global warming findings, as reported on MSNBC’s Keith Olbermann. (Sue him, not me.) Bush recently went out on a limb and said we were “addicted to oil.” However, like Iraq and the deficits, it will fall to the next president to fix. Bush has brush to clear. But, to be fair, there’s plenty of blame. In Russia, the rain is apparently so acidic, when it turns to snow, it’s orange! I suppose into every life a little acid rain must fall. The Russian government tells its citizens it’s not harmful, but also says not to stand in the snow or melt it for water. Can you imagine having a government you can’t trust?
Most industrial nations signed up for the Kyoto Protocol, which imposed caps on greenhouse gases. But Bush, in his finite wisdom, pulled us out of Kyoto in 2001. Of course, most industrialized countries have universal health care and have banned capital punishment. Did I mention we’re No. 1?
Mark Twain said, “Everyone complains about the weather, but nobody does anything about it.” My green guru, Ed Begley Jr., reminds us there’s a lot we can do! Whenever possible, walk, ride a bike or use public transportation. Always recycle and turn off lights in a room you’re not using. Use compact fluorescent bulbs, energy saving thermostats, double pane windows and energy efficient refrigerators. And after these have saved you money, you might want to move up to the “big-ticket items” like solar panels or a hybrid car.
The past six years of Bush has been rough on all of us, especially Iraqis and polar bears. But take heart, he has only 711 days left. (Assuming impeachment doesn’t come first.) Maybe in 2008 we ought to elect a Congress, Senate and President who don’t think global warming is only a theory?
As for the presidency, I’m completely impartial between electing a Democrat or a Republican. But I have a suggestion. How about we only vote for candidates who have been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize?
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 9, 2007. Read the original PDF.