By Steve “the Mailman” Breen Going Postal
LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, CALIFORNIA, which is the fifth largest global economy ahead of France and ranked 47th in the U.S. in book smarts is, according to the National Education Association, actually dumber than Alamab … Alabast … Alabama? We be real intellimagent. This glaring inequity comes on the heels of the California’s 2006- 07 budget agreement that has, “… increase[d] … education funding by over $3 billion, to nearly $50 billion…” including racial grievance mongered “… set-asides …” ? Also, according to the NEA, while we have the second highest paid teachers in the U.S., we lag 29th in per student expenditures at $10,325 per kidlet. We are also numero uno in the country for combined state and federal “edumacational” revenues totaling $63 billion. More money doesn’t seem to solve this conundrum.
Do the math — no fair using your fingers.
A recent California “report card” exclaimed that 1 in 4 of your precious little Justins and Ambers are being transmogrified by a fetid sub-culture of bureaucrats masquerading as teachers into dimming light bulbs of sufficient wattage to barely illuminate a cash register at Pinkberry.
The same article also accounts that the L.A. County bonehead quotient implodes to 1 in 3. Now your kids are eminently qualified to operate a squeegee in the parking lot of Chinois on Main. If only they could read the street signs to get to work. But stop scapegoating teachers for the evanescent event horizon at the black hole of your own intellect. Some of them obviously don’t know either.
Additionally, don’t blame Bush for “No Child Left Behind” as the senator from Chappaquiddick, Teddy Kennedy, was holding Dubya’s hand when Dubya signed it.
A recent 2007 CDC analysis, citing an Annenberg Public Policy study, demonstrated that your average kid engages in 4.5 hours of electronic media interaction a day. This includes video games and Internet usage on top of watching Nickelodeon.
While it is called a “boob tube” for a reason, think of it as a baby-sitter with one big blue eye. Now factor this into a recent headline blaring of parental complaints that kids have too much homework.
Parents are complaining? I thought the kids were supposed to complain. Or are mommy and daddy too embarrassed to inform their clueless Clarence that their own academic account is also squalidly over-drawn at the brain bank to provide a modicum of assistance in his “History of Evil Dead White Males” class?
“still the best looking mailman in the U.S. Post Office” — STEVE BREEN’S Republi-kids are smarter and better looking than the average and is ... DON’T BLAME BUSH FOR ‘NO CHILD LEFT BEHIND’ AS THE SENATOR FROM CHAPPAQUIDDICK, TEDDY KENNEDY, WAS HOLDING DUBYA’S HAND WHEN DUBYA SIGNED IT
In the same article, some joker with a masters of education intoned from his ivory tower that total homework should follow a rate of 10 minutes for every grade the child has achieved. An example was provided that a sixth grader should reasonably have one meager hour of homework a day.
This informs me that it must not have been very taxing for Mr. “Ed” to acquire an advanced degree in education if those same criteria were applied in the post-secondary milieu of his field. His secretary should inform him that the cure for intellectual hypoxia is to loosen one’s necktie.
How about 4.5 hours of homework and one hour of TV a day, hmmm? It’s obviously working in China and India.
I haven’t owned a TV since 1993. Friends have given me one in the past. Eventually I give them away as it makes more room for my books. My kids grew up without a TV in the house.
My former wife and I both read voraciously, for information and entertainment. Our exquisitely bright children picked up the habit. Nathan left Venice High and enrolled at Santa Monica College at 16. Megan left an LAUSD magnet school at 14 and home schooled until graduation at 16.
Her LAUSD advisor had never had a child turn in seven to nine book reports every two weeks. He said he was lucky to see two to three per month from any other of his charges.
Nathan, courtesy of the U.S. Navy, is in a self-directed and self-taught long-distance learning program through Columbia University in Environmental Engineering. While he has been recently stationed in Iraq during his tour of duty on an EOD bomb squad in Basra, the success of the surge has allowed the peace and quiet for my son to complete classes in physics, chemistry and calculus with A’s.
He’s awaiting the results for his basic engineering principles course.
And his real time experience as a Navy Seabee in the field of mechanics and construction combined with his own academic acumen make him a very valuable asset for the future in environmental strategies to ensure U.S. hegemony in the world.
Folks, your kids, according to the U.S. Constitution, have no right to an education nor should a bloated and inept school system carry the Waters of Wisdom to your children. You need to bring your own bucket. Children imitate what they see and follow reasonable suit. Do your kids look like you?
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 13, 2008. Read the original PDF.