The King of the Britons is at it again, this time in a hocus-pocus-less downer from the Jerry Bruckheimer factory that takes more liberties with historical truth than the Bush White House. “King Arthur” purports to demystify the legend of Camelot by presenting fabrication as fact. A title card at the film’s outset erroneously asserts that historians agree the legend of Arthur was based on Lucius Artorius Castus, a half-Roman military commander who protected the Empire’s northernmost interests in the 5th Century A.D., but that’s a load of bunk. Most historians — save the ones scribe Dennis Franzoni consulted when piecing together his screenplay — actually claim Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table are figments of centuries-worth of imagination. Veracity aside, director Antoine Fuqua’s (“Training Day”) retelling falls flat because without the fantastic elements used to great effect in “Excalibur” and the titillating Arthur-Guinevere-Lancelot love triangle that inspired “First Knight,” “King Arthur” is nothing but another bromidic sword-fighting flick. And a bloodless one, at that. In an effort to secure a PG-13 rating and all that precious under-17 dough, epic battles are staged a la the R-rated “Braveheart” and “Gladiator” (which Franzoni also penned), with nary a drop of blood spilled. Guess it’s OK to have a massive body count just so long as the gore is softcore. Or maybe all those soldiers simply dropped dead at the sight of Guinevere (Keira Knightley) running around the battlefield in a loincloth.
The reed-thin Knightley, looking like she was plucked from a lost runway-model episode of “Xena: Warrior Princess,” is an eye-pleasing, arrow-slinging siren who gets stoic Arthur’s (Clive Owen) chain mail jangling. Her storied dalliance with Lancelot (Ioan Gruffudd) isn’t broached here, apparently because Arthur’s best mate is too busy whining all the time. The other Round Tablers embrace the typical honor and brotherhood ballyhoo with conviction, but none stand out, making it nearly impossible to distinguish a Gawain from a Galahad … but feel free to galahad and try anyhow (insert rimshot here!) On the positive tip, Stellan Skarsgard (“Good Will Hunting”) delivers a fine performance as the leader of the barbaric Saxon horde.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on July 7, 2004. Read the original PDF.