By Daily Planet slaves
Fuming over the new smoking ban at the beach, a group of smokers Wednesday night set ablaze all the lifeguard towers in Santa Monica.
“This ban is wrong and we’re not going to take it,” said Bernie Inmylungs, organizer for Citizens Against Non-representative Community Enforcement Regulations (CANCER). “We’re fighting back — how you like us now, City Council?”
CANCER feels there is nothing wrong with smoking. It has pledged to continue wreaking havoc on local beaches until politicians decide to reverse the ban.
What’s more, CANCER has pledged to take their arson-based protestations to area parks, bars and restaurants until City Hall changes its ways.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2004. Read the original PDF.