By CAROL AGATE, J.D. Special to the Daily Press
“I got a new hearing aid. It cost $3,000.” “What kind is it?” “4:32 p.m.” Yep, no matter how expensive hearing aids are, they don’t provide clarity. This leads to a lot of misunderstandings about them. We have probably all heard from people who don’t think they need hearing aids:“I can hear perfectly well. You mumble.” Or from friends of people with hearing loss: “He can hear me when he wants to.”
The loss of clarity is why some people think they don’t need hearing aids — they can still hear. And they think you mumble because they don’t realize their hearing loss affects clarity. The biggest disappointment after buying new hearing aids is that people still mumble; the mumbling is just louder.
The lack of clarity also explains why you think he can hear you when he wants to. Some sounds are more difficult for some people, depending on the range of their loss. High-pitched or accented voices are the hardest to understand. It’s important to note that an inability to understand an accented voice isn’t a criticism of the speaker.
So what do you do when a person who is hard of hearing says, “What?” Your instinct is to simply say the same thing again and in the same tone of voice. But if it wasn’t understood the first time, it probably won’t be understood the second time. Try conveying the same idea in different words.
And don’t get annoyed. We don’t get annoyed at people who are blind or have limited mobility. Maybe people get annoyed at those with hearing loss because of the belief,“He can hear me when he wants to.” And there is the mistaken assumption that just as glasses can provide perfect vision, hearing aids can provide perfect hearing.
Now that you know that communicating with a person with hearing aids might need some effort from you, what can you do to help? The most important thing is to face the person and not cover your mouth. We all can hear better when we see the speaker’s mouth. For a person with hearing loss, seeing a mouth is often more critical than wearing hearing aids. Don’t chew or put your hand in front of your mouth. Also, get her or his attention first.
Use your normal speech, but more slowly than usual if you tend to talk fast.Hearing loss means it takes longer for the brain to decipher the words, even when they are clear. Don’t shout; that just distorts the words. Don’t speak from another room.
The hardest situation for understanding speech is with background noise. Restaurants or parties make it harder for everyone to converse, but for a person with hearing loss, it can be impossible. Give that person the seat facing the room so there is less noise from behind. If you invite a person with hearing loss to your home, don’t play background music.
For those with a hearing loss, trying to understand speech can be exhausting. It demands constant concentration. It is often much easier to fake it. Despite what a bad idea that is, most people with hearing loss do it occasionally, thus reinforcing the myth that they can “hear when they want to.”
Hearing loss can be isolating. Ending the isolation takes effort from the person with the loss and from those communicating with that person. Please make the effort as graciously as you do as when you open a door for another. Don’t be annoyed when you can’t be understood on the first try. This is an invisible and poorly understood disability, but with your help it can be less disabling.
Carol Agate is an administrative law judge with the California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on October 26, 2006. Read the original PDF.