By — Mom in Holiday Hell
Dear Dorie, The winter holidays are around the corner and I still feel hungover from Thanksgiving. My 2-year-old is challenging the holiday traditions, to say the least. Meals are crazy, behavior just never seems to please the relatives, and the notion of regular sleep is non-existent. As a rational adult, I know that the holidays won’t always be this way, but I’m having a hard time not crawling into a closet until they’re over. Any advice?
Dear Mom, It appears you’re still in the “surprise, holidays-with-young-children-are-ridiculous” shock from Thanksgiving. It’s a difficult but unavoidable part of parenting. Rest assured, it gets easier as they get older. Rituals become understood, schedules become more flexible, and, believe it or not, sleep eventually becomes less of an issue. In the meantime here are a few tips: 1) Take care of yourself. Rest. If not actual sleep, try meditation and exercise in your preferred style. As a parent, your No. 1 job is to protect that little one, and you can’t do that if you are sick or stressed out. 2) Guide your toddler to quiet time whenever possible. If he gets over-stimulated, remove him from the situation and the inevitable criticisms from relatives (i.e., “My children just didn’t behave like that.”) 3) Allow him his usual rituals. If he drinks a bottle of milk before bedtime at home, but you’re embarrassed to give him a bottle in front of your mother, swallow your pride. He doesn’t know your mother’s issues, all he wants is his usual bottle. 4) Stay close. Well-intentioned relatives tend to demand hugs and kisses pretty frequently. Your child might feel overwhelmed and frightened. 5) Identify your expectations. If they seem unrealistic for either you or your toddler, change them. Family holiday traditions are dynamic.Ultimately, the holiday season is a magical time for children, and family is one of the most meaningful and important parts. Good luck. (Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John’s Health Center with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Submit your questions concerning children 5 years and younger to, or call (310) 452-6132).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on December 14, 2004. Read the original PDF.