By Steve “the Mailman” Breen Going Postal
LIBERAL-ISH MULT I CULTURAL ISM IS allegedly the Teflon coating on the sticky melting pot of U.S. society that just simmers into a viscous sludge of juvenile indulgence or so the theory goes. It is customarily symptomatic among the Pharisees of PC, however, that their dogmatic distemper toward anything deemed “un-PC” is invariably due to their own misanthropic, focus group driven naiveté.
Take the Beijing Olympics for example. A recent “Q-Line” in the Santa Monica Daily Press queried as to whether respondents would watch the Games despite China’s human rights record. One individual rabidly frothed of being “… ashamed at the athletes that [went] there, but applaud the few that did not …”
Let me get this straight, by this tortured illogic, should one be ashamed of Jesse Owens’ dominance over Aryan “superiority” in the 1936 Berlin Games? Should one be ashamed of the U.S. women’s saber team that swept the medal round in an Asian country of hereditary swordsmen? Should those young ladies have remained in the scullery where they belong? The next thing you know some whack job will advocate that a woman should be elected president.
Should we be ashamed of Michael Phelps’ immodest achievement of 14 career gold medals? After his eighth gold, if Phelps were a country unto himself, he had been tied for fifth place with South Korea, Japan and Australia. He beat the entire Russian delegation that day.
Another “Q-Line” respondent viscerally harrumphed over Chinese gastronomical peculiarities due to the inclusion of common household pets in Beijing’s famous Bau-Wau Stir Fry Surprise. My buddy at work, Dave Levin, swears, “that the only good dog is a hot dog.” I don’t know about that. Have you seen what goes in those things?
On an historical note, China has had 1,858 famines of varying severity from 108 BCE to 1911 ACE. The worst famine occurred during Mao’s Great Leap Forward from 1958 to 1961 in which the official estimates of the dead ran up to 32 million! In context, imagine walking the length of California from San Diego to the Oregon border and not encountering a single living human soul, but there are a lot of Chihuahuas and Siamese kitties running around.
Do the math, pretty grisly numbers. When one’s children are starving, political correctness offers a very bare larder. Be advised though that when traveling overseas, your Paris Hilton purse dog may be another person’s sack lunch.
Yet this is all morally transient for the self-righteous rubes according to the fetishistic rubric of their multicultural mumbo-jumbo?
Watching the Spanish basketballers making “slanty eyes” for a photo op was a great belly laugh. Being half Asian myself, I’ve been doing that “sight gag” for at least half my life without the least bit of angst-ridden guilt from my Caucasian doppelganger. I guess it comes from being in that racist Republican “white party” so aptly aped by simian Howard Dean’s most recent bout of hoof-in-mouth disease. Give us a howl, Howie!
I have been frequently labeled as a racist by liberals who profess that labeling is an un-PC thing to do. I am not a racist. I hate everybody in a separate but equal fashion.
I was recently called a warmonger except that I was offended that the person stating as such neglected to include “baby killing cannibal” to the nomenclature.
All kidding aside, in order to transcend the all-encompassing capricious canards of race, gender, creed, sexual orientation and bad hairstyles, I have simply found it more effective to determine if the focus of my ire is a mere jackass. It’s more universally utilitarian.
Anybody see “Tropic Thunder”? Robert Downey Jr. stole the show just to prove that “Amos and Andy” are still funny while a Senior Deputy Superintendent for LAUSD, Ramon Cortines, took great offense at the use of the word “retard” in the movie while finger wagging at Hollywood’s ignorance to “the sensitivities of people with intellectual disabilities.” Considering the LAUSD’s lamentable drop out rate that resembles Ty Cobb’s lifetime batting average, one might ask Mr. Cortines as to why he is out watching no-brainer satires instead of working on a competent lesson plan to improve the fortunes of those kids with “intellectual disabilities”
Who’s the real “retard” in this picture? So welcome to being a “citizen of the world,” ladies and gents! If everything is completely copasetic under stolid PC doctrinaire multicultural standards then there should be no reasonable acid reflux concerning the provincial antics of some of the other “citizens.” All morality henceforth becomes amoral.
STEVE BREEN is an Irish/Filipino poi dog that doesn’t know what to celebrate at Xmas and is still “the best looking mailman at the U.S. Post Office.” He
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 20, 2008. Read the original PDF.