Dear Dorie, My 20-month-old son is extremely active. He loves to climb, touch and explore. I hate to admit it, but he has a hard time sitting down and staying still. Many people (mostly relatives and friends) have said this isn’t normal or that I should exert more control. What do you think? — Active Observer Dear Observer: You’ve hit one of my hot-button issues. My oldest daughter didn’t “sit still” either and I remember being asked to leave activities, as well as feeling totally humiliated in group scenarios that demanded quiet and calm children. I thought I was doing something wrong or, at least, not parenting the way she needed.
Here’s the reality: Count your blessings and enjoy the ride with your active baby boy. Sitting down and staying put are adult wishes when it comes to toddler behavior and these same adults are the ones who are not normal. The days of “children should be seen and not heard” are long gone. A healthy toddler should love to touch, smell, see, hear and taste anything and everything that piques his curiosity. Your job is to make sure he’s safe and then stay out of the way. Keep any adult who wants to “tame” him out of the way as well. Good luck. — Dorie (Dorie Meek is director of the Infant & Family Support Program, provided by Saint John’s Health Center in partnership with the Santa Monica-Malibu Unified School District. Meek answers questions concerning children ages birth to 5 years old. Submit your questions to “Dear Dorie” at, or call (310) 452-6132; fax (310) 452-6392).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on June 21, 2005. Read the original PDF.