By Brian Madden Santa Monica
I love global warming! November is the new June. Good-bye L.L. Beans, hello Fruit o’ de Loom. Henry Hudson and I are so excited at the prospect of finally being able to navigate the northwest passage, now that we’ve melted that pesky polar ice cap. It’ll cut thousands of miles off shipping worthless junk around America. I heard a rumor that people live up there. That’s incredible, but not a problem even if it’s true, McDonalds can put them to work as soon as they are tamed. Is it true that a village must be destroyed in order to tame it?
Fashion designers reading the Daily Press please take note of the climate change. Forget about seasonal fashions. What are we going to wear to the Oscars when the climate is upside down? If you have to ask if the awards are more important than life on Earth, don’t ask.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 7, 2006. Read the original PDF.