✆ “The city nickname should be ‘Santa Monica: Home of the homeless.’ No explanation. Most already know we are the home of the homeless, whether we like it or not.” ✆ “For a slogan or a bumper sticker, they could do one of two choices: ‘Welcome to Santa Monica: Where the sun meets the surf’ or ‘Welcome to Santa Monica, Bumtown USA: Where the bums meet everything else.’” ✆ “As one of the youngest landlords in Santa Monica, and having grown up with rent control, and the things with it I’d like to call the city ‘Samolicious.’ It’s a wonderful city, but there are little quirks like the City Council and politics. So ‘Samolicious’ is my choice.” ✆ “I think that the ‘Peoples Republic of Santa Monica’ is an old, tired-out slogan. I think it should be called ‘Odessa by the Sea’ because we have so many Russians living in Santa Monica now. Regular seniors can’t get an apartment in a building. Most of the buildings are 85 percent Russians and we still have the members of the old communist party sitting in the City Council. So a change is as good as the rest. It would be better just to name it ‘Odessa by the Sea’ or you could call a branch of the Kremlin.” ✆ “How about ‘Santa Monica: The land of no compassion’?” ✆ “Any nickname worthy of a bumper sticker would be the ‘Santa Monica Softies.’ Why? Because they don’t address the immediate concerns of the people who live in Santa Monica, such as the homeless, not necessarily those in need, but the people who are undeserving of consideration who are just bums and criminals. Gangs who put graffiti all over the place. There are issues with just governing the regular maintenance of the city, like the lights on Main Street. But they are not about the immediate issues of the people of the city. It’s not about being progressive, it’s about caring about the city, then being progressive.” ✆ “Bumper sticker:‘If you don’t live here, go home.’ The reason? Too many tourists, too many regional shoppers.” ✆ “‘Santa Monica: Where the debris meets the sea.’” ✆ “‘People’s Republic is Santa Monica’ is fine with me. I’ve lived here 50 years and it’s catchy, it’s cute. So what? It’s great.” ✆ “How about ‘Welcome to Santa Monica City: Scum by the sea’? After years of swimming in Santa Monica Bay, I find more crud in the city than in the ocean. Let’s see, first it was the City Council, then the school district, followed by SMC. Not one had a candidate worth voting for. Next comes the 70 parasitic non-profits. Plus bums, no parking, no driving, overbuilding, low-income housing for the lazy, just there is more socialist deer manure that’s now fertilizing Santa Monica.” ✆ “‘SMRR Monica’ would refer to some of the morons who rule the roost.”
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 18, 2006. Read the original PDF.