By Allan Finkleberg Daily Pest Staff Writer
MAIN STREET Weary of the perception that RAND is boring and, at times, elitist, officials of the Santa Monica-based think tank have decided to add some transparency to the work that they do here.
“We want the world to know that, aside from postulating upon the latest conundrums facing our planet, we at RAND can kick up our heels when the time is deemed appropriate,” said Roger Idle Rodgers III, official spokesman for the research and development giant.
In keeping with the spirit of the move, he’s decided to go by the moniker “Jolly Roger Idle Rodgers III” when addressing the press from now on.
Instead of stuffy offices with room after room of critical thinkers wrapping their heads around the troubles of the day, the organization — which does extensive work for the United States government — has developed a theme park of sorts. The main attraction of the new facility is a massive glass think tank where, for a fee, the public can peer into the inner-world of RAND’s top flight experts as they ponder various topics of study.
There are multiple observation decks surrounding the massive Plexiglas and steel creation to allow a multitude of visitors the ability to watch the thinkers at work. Souvenir and refreshment stands are scattered throughout the facility that will open its doors to the public sometime in early May. An older structure on the grounds of RAND’s Santa Monica headquarters was razed to make way for the decidedly sober theme park.
“It’s good to see the folks at RAND finally take steps toward welcoming the public instead of just conducting its business mostly in secreted obscurity,”said Riçcard Bloom, Santa Monica’s on-again, off-again mayor.
Conveying the notion that RAND is an organization of international stature, the think tank will be decorated with plastic replicas of landmarks the world over. The theme will rotate depending on the topic currently being debated and researched.
The first topic the public think tank will tackle is scheduled to be global warming. To match the motif, the tank will be decked-out with scale models of the Giza pyramids and will be kept at a constant temperature of 100 degrees.
Meanwhile, squirrels in Palisades Park were seen giving each other reach arounds, fueling fears that the cute little rodents will bring about a plague on all our houses.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 1, 2007. Read the original PDF.