S omething wonderful is happening at Santa Monica High School. It’s “Circle of Friends,” a club that creates friendships among students who are disabled and those who are not.
Non-disabled students volunteer to become a kind of “big brother” to classmates with disabilities. Their friends have Down Syndrome, Autism and other social skills challenges. The goal is promote friendships that become a positive long term force in the lives of both the disabled and non-disabled. About 150 high school-ers are involved.
It all works very simply. To participate, “peer” friends and disabled friends must agree to have lunch once a week and make frequent phone contacts with each other throughout the entire school year.
Club members participate in monthly group events, including field trips to places such as zoos and museums, holiday celebrations and other structured, large group activities. Students without disabilities are also encouraged to include their friends with disabilities with their own social group when going out for a movie or a burger, or just hanging out — both on and off campus.
Circle of Friends was founded five years ago by Barbara Palilis, a speech and language pathologist in the Santa Monica- Malibu Unified School District. Samohi-based Palilis realized that her special needs students did much better when they could socialize with other students on an ongoing and regular basis.
Friendship is the operative word here. What usually develops is close personal relationships that students with special needs wouldn’t have an opportunity to develop under normal circumstances.
“It gives those with social skills challenges a chance to solve day-to-day problems, improve communications skills and meet the challenges of the world when they have more than one friend who cares about them,” said Palilis.
“Students join to touch the lives of others and find their own lives have been touched.” Many even stay friends after graduation.
Circle of Friends is an extra curricular activity. Palilis is the unpaid adviser to the group and spends many long hours each day mentoring and counseling both disabled and non-disabled students. Funding comes through contributions and fundraisers. The school district provides no financial support. Parents contribute money and other resources. Participants often pay for food and other expenses out of their own pockets.
Those who know the club refer to it as a “Shining Star.” They marvel at the life-changing success stories, the miracles accomplished and how it has changed and improved the quality of life for everyone associated with it. It has even generated a sensitivity and awareness in the entire Samohi student body.
My hat is off — way off — to the students, parents, volunteers and others who work so hard to make this happen. They have provided hope and promise for the disabled far beyond anyone’s dreams.
Supporters would like to see the SMMUSD recognize the club for its achievements. They also want to see its activities expanded districtwide, including middle and elementary schools. They are hoping for a permanent budget and district financial support — enough to pay a program adviser, for example.
The school board’s special education district advisory committee wrote in a letter dated April 25, “We urge the district to support Circle of Friends... and to allow this unique club to receive private funding in order to expand its reach to students in need at other campuses.”
I’m more than impressed with the tremendous success achieved by this group. Maybe that’s why I’m having a hard time understanding why those in charge aren’t jumping up and down with joy, and making it into a districtwide, funded program. I don’t understand why it hasn’t even received the full recognition it deserves.
Circle of Friends has been instrumental in giving disabled students the tools to make and maintain friendships — an important skill necessary for living a meaningful life. So, it seems that many students with special needs in all our schools could be receiving tremendous benefit from the Circle of Friends model and they aren’t. That’s unfortunate.
Those running the district can make this happen, but they need to stop wasting time, end the back room bickering and do the right thing: Act quickly and make Circle of Friends available to all young persons in need of help. (Bill Bauer is a longtime Santa Monica resident and a freelance writer).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on May 7, 2004. Read the original PDF.