By Carole Orlin
W hen my husband and I arrived in Santa Monica nearly four years ago from the East Coast, I believed that my contributions to the community would be focused on my extensive background in health care planning. As I quickly became entrenched in Santa Monica, my education in the workings and politics of the city allowed me to take a firsthand look at the workings of City Hall, the mayor and City Council, the Planning Commission, the Architectural Review Board, the Rent Control Board, the police department, the courthouse, and even Santa Monica College. As a tenant and as a landlord, as a business owner and as a consumer, I found myself intrigued, and at times befuddled by issues ranging from the living wage to widespread homelessness, from traffic and parking enforcement to dog parks.
As I have time to look around and take in the smells of our unique beach community, I am struck by the lack of a common sense approach to most of the important issues, especially when it comes to the local governing authorities. I hope to be able to call attention to problems and discuss solutions that are reality based, perhaps not always politically correct and perhaps a bit more moderate or conservative than the liberal establishment has found itself accustomed to in the past.
Almost from the time I arrived in Santa Monica in 2000, I have been looking to come up with a sensible reason and solution for the disproportionate number of homeless people living here. Over the last four years I have been witness to numerous complaints about harassment, criminal activity — such as breaking and entering and destruction of property — public urination, defecation, the list goes on. Surely our local government cannot be that out of touch with reality to not see the severity of the problem, or not realize that whatever actions, or inactions, they were adopting are making things go from bad to worse.
Is it possible that the failure to adequately deal with this far-reaching problem is not really a failure of our local government? Could the real fault rest with our namesake, Saint Monica? It’s so simple, why didn’t I see it before? You see, she herself was a recovering alcoholic and is the patron saint for, among other things, alcoholics, alcoholism and disappointing children. Alas, perhaps Santa Monica was destined to be a haven for the homeless! It was in the cards. Now, I am aware that not all homeless people are substance abusers, but let’s face it, a significant majority of them do imbibe a lot.
If the problem can be directly connected to the name of our fair city, is the solution not a very simple one? Let’s change our name! I happen to have a few suggestions. How about becoming “Santa Eurosia,” whose patronage protects us from bad weather, or “San Medard,” another protector from bad weather who also favors brewers and vineyards? On second thought, maybe that’s not a good idea. Another possibility is “San Vitus,” a saint whose patronage includes protection from oversleeping — an ongoing problem, I must admit, and protection for actors and comedians, dog lovers, and against storms. I also would submit “San Maurus,” whose patronage among other things includes protection against cold weather, gout and protection for shoemakers. We cannot overestimate the importance of shoemakers. Jimmy and Manolo, are you listening? I’d even take “San Ambrose of Milan,” patron saint of bees, beekeepers, candle makers, chandlers (not Bing) and domestic animals. Should we consider “Santa Apollonia,” whose patronage protects against tooth disease and toothaches? Or, how about “San Brice,” who protects us from stomach disease? I could go on, but you get my point.
We were set up. In giving this more thought, perhaps being named after a saint is too much to ask of any community. How about something simple like Happy Acres? I would proffer that even our city officials could embrace this solution. This would enable them to continue to pursue a policy approach that has no real accountability for the homeless community, except insisting that every homeless person be happy. Don’t worry … (Carole is a health care professional and freelance writer. She can be reached at tangling833@aol.com).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on May 10, 2004. Read the original PDF.