THE VICTORY HOOT THAT FROTHILY drooled from the besotted Obamanoidal mouth breathers during the climactic aftermath of the South Carolina Democrat Primary execrably droned, “Race doesn’t matter!”
So why then is the alleged “post-racial” candidate now race baiting faster than his tackle box can handle. What’s more, Obama’s campaign maintains that this alleged racism will be in “Code.” I am more inclined to postulate that his inability to obscure his substantial effluvial flaws of policy and character is his signatory raison d’etre to pitch race cards from the bottom of the deck because we shouldn’t be distracted from what’s really important to the American people.
I swift-boated over to Amazon for a copy of “The Obama Code.” No luck. I did hear, though, that a super-secret decoder ring could now be found in 527, specially marked boxes of Shrubs, Twigs and Oats. It has all the corn with twice the marshmallows smothered all over that rich, chocolaty “change.” It’s Obama-licious! So boys and girls, grab a box, slip on the ring and let’s play “Break that Code!”
Let me get this, ahem, straight … according to the homophobic Obama Code, is he inferring that his separate but equal anile mentality on the “distraction”of gay marriage is more legally refined than the more “attainable measure” of the recent Republican California Supreme Court ruling? According to your Obamaspeak De-coder Ring, hope and change only apply to straight people.
Obama’s Web site now asks his supporters to “… declare our independence from a broken campaign finance system …”
This is Obamaspeak for “I am a conventional politician $eeking to purcha$e a Pre$idency. You are the $pare change that I’ve been waiting for!”
According to the Chicago Tribune this April, Long John Obama hoisted his Jolly Roger and landed $125,000 from the Miami offices of uber-lobby firm Greenberg and Traurig in October 2007. Greenberg and Traurig’s most infamous buccaneer was, of course, influence peddling poster boy Jack Abramoff, who makes Obama’s piratical next-door neighbor, Tony Rezko, look like the Skipper from Gilligan’s Island by comparison.
The booty was bundled from 186 separate “small donor contributions,” as Obama prefers to call them, so as to avoid an appearance of taking “big lobby money.” This sophist strategy provides him fiduciary comfort absent the inordinate dyspepsia of equivocal conscience while he shaves in his morning mirror.
“The Audacity of Hope”
“Yes, I have been a long-time advocate for public financing … as a way to reduce the influence of moneyed special interests.”
“It makes sense for us to begin a withdrawal of our troops. I think it is time for us to tell the Iraqi people that they are responsible for their country.”
“We absolutely have an obligation to the Iraqi people. That’s why I’ve resisted calls for an immediate withdrawal.” — 2006 Obama: ABC interview June 16, 2008 Obama: Presidential Candidate Questionnaire Nov. 27, 2007 Obama: Fox News Sunday April 27, 2008 Obama: Larry King Live September, 2006 Obama: New York Magazine January, 2007 And did I mention he’s a black man?
“I [am] very interested in pursuing public financing …”
“I do believe that marriage is [only] between a man and a woman.”
“The heightened focus on [gay] marriage is a distraction from other attainable measures.”
By March 2008, according to the FEC, the swag hauled aboard from lobbyists and law firms by Obama has been $13.8 million. In 1996, Obama said,“Guilt is a luxury that not everyone can afford” unless, of course, it’s purchased by “moneyed special-interests.”
According to Obama’s Web site, he introduced legislation in January 2007 “… to remove all of our combat troops from Iraq …” while simultaneously resisting the “… calls for immediate withdrawal …” in New York Magazine. Currently, at a recent Fourth of July in North Dakota, Obama then stated that, “[He’s] going to do a thorough assessment when [he’s in Iraq]. [He’s] sure to have more information and continue to refine [his] policy.”
College kids call this “cramming for the exam,” after all, it has been over 900 days since he’s last scuffed his Taryn Rose loafers on Iraqi soil, as he has been too busy redesigning his Presidential Seal rather than doing his job.
The next day in Montana while starring in his new bio-pic with Academy Award winning director David Guggenheim, Obama then assigned to the McCain campaign all blame for any confabulatory obfuscation regarding Obama’s newly refined “Shifting Sands Policy” on Iraq. This is Obamaspeak for “Words matter. I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. Guggenheim.”
However, as John McCain wasn’t yet the presumptive GOP nominee until February 2008 and Obama was obviously enamored by his own celebrity on Larry King Live in 2006, then one can only surmise that Obama is crafting his foreign policy psychically.
This is Obamaspeak for “I’m too busy measuring my drapes for the Oval Office.”
Oh, and did I mention he’s black?
STEVE BREEN is a conservative cowboy in liberal Indian country and still, “the best looking mailman in the U.S. Post Office.” He
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on July 9, 2008. Read the original PDF.