Unless your destination is Dudsville, this is one “Taxi” you should certainly avoid hailing. Exhaustingly insipid in his debut descent into big screen leading m a n - h o o d, former “Saturday Night Live” regular Jimmy Fallon reinforces the notion that for every Will Ferrell or Eddie Murphy there’s a host of not-ready-for-box-office players destined for a “Where are they now?” segment on VH-1.
But don’t shed a tear for the Fallons and Jim Breuers of the world. Instead wring your hands for Queen Latifah, who — “Barbershop 2” aside — has appeared in some god-awful flicks since her Academy Award-nominated turn in “Chicago.”
Here, in this Americanized take on the 1998 French film of same name, Latifah plays Belle Williams, a speed demon New York City hack who dreams of someday ruling the NASCAR circuit. When Fallon’s Andy Washburn, an impossibly inept cop whose poor driving skills cost him his license, commandeers her cab for purposes of nabbing a team of leggy bankrobbers led by supermodel Gisele Bundchen, a bromidic buddy flick is born. Fallon and Latifah make for one undynamic duo — he’s not the least bit funny, and she’s unconvincing in her efforts to appear amused by him. Fallon, whose popularity on SNL was rooted primarily in his inability to keep a straight face in sketches, manages to make it through the entire film without busting up. Problem is, so will most moviegoers. There’s plenty to cringe at, though — Bundchen’s play-time performance, Jennifer Esposito’s grating police lieutenant and, worst of all, the venerable Ann-Margret’s embarrassing cameo as Andy’s margarita-addicted mom. Strapped for laughs, director Tim Story (“Barbershop”) instead tries to dazzle with car chases and wanton peeps up Bundchen’s miniskirts, and it still doesn’t make this ride any more enjoyable. (Rated PG-13 for language, sensuality and brief violence. Running time: 89 minutes)
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on October 8, 2004. Read the original PDF.