LET’S FACE IT. MICHAEL PHELPS ROCKS! He is the greatest swimmer of all time! Phelps’s physical prowess and determination are an inspiration to everyone who has a dream, whether athletic or sedentary.
But, I have a little gripe with Mr. Phelps. Well, now, don’t get your Speedos in a bunch. It’s not a personal gripe. My frustration is with that very inspiration Phelps has instilled in people, particularly those who live in Santa Monica. Yesterday, I went to the often deserted sporting goods store to buy a new pair of goggles, only to find the usually well-stocked shelves empty.
“We’ve had a run on swim accessories,” said the sales assistant to the seven of us searching for items.
No problem. I just ventured into a hole-in-the-wall scuba shop and purchased my favorite goggles, which still leak despite my best adjustment efforts. Yes, Michael, we all empathize with that water in the goggles. It’s a pain.
But, the inconveniences have not stopped there. During summer months, Santa Monica College makes multiple lanes of its beautiful Olympic-sized fitness pool available for public use. As a freelancer, I can escape midday for a relaxing swim. Usually, I have a lane to myself or share with one other swimmer. Now, thanks to Phelps, my little oasis has become a Mecca for wannabes. This past week, I was lucky to find a lane with only four people.
Today was the clincher. I had just completed lap No. 40 when my lane partner exited the pool. I was alone! I decided to backstroke, since backstroking in a straight line is a refined skill that I have yet to refine. I pushed off the edge and reached my arms overhead. My body floated, soft, cool water stroking my fingertips. The sun beat down on my face and chest, my eyes squinting at the turquoise sky, my swimsuit straps fluttering. A sense of serenity slinked through my bones as my feet chopped the surface and I breathed the fresh air. A trickle of water entered my mouth. Splashes of divers fell away into the white noise whoosh of water in my ears. Nirvana shifted inside me.
Then — THUMP! A powerful whack to the head knocked me beneath the surface. Apparently, some teenager had jumped into the back of my lane and pummeled me. Once I regained my wits, I stopped him and explained that he must alert people when he gets into the pool. He gave me a vague look, swam off, and continued to bump me each time we passed. I stopped him again and suggested that he look at the black line on the bottom of the lane to help him stay on his side. To this, he objected. He said that he was trying to swim faster like “that guy in the Olympics,” which he could only do if he closed his eyes. I did not know whether to laugh or cry, so I pointed out that Michael Phelps has to keep his eyes open in order to win races. Okay, perhaps Phelps did swim blind in the 200m Butterfly in Beijing, but that’s not the point. The kid finally stuck to his side.
I am not a competitive swimmer. As someone with injuries, I frequent the slow speed lanes. But, I make a concerted effort to practice pool etiquette ■ Let a swimmer know you are about to share the lane. How? Wave a hand at the edge of the water, stick your feet in, or yell if necessary. ■ Stay on your side of the lane and in your lane. While “Junior” was swaying about, Mr. “Trying to Teach Himself a Flip Turn” in the next lane actually kicked me from across the plastic divider. ■ If you must attempt the “Phelps Butterfly Power Swim,” create your storm in the fast lanes of the pool. Tidal waves are for the ocean. Slow lanes are for those of us who need to go slow.
Swimming is a community activity. None of us can do it without a little guidance or inspiration. I, too, am motivated by Phelps. I even tried to teach myself a flip turn and dolphin kick. I failed, but at least I did not take anyone out in the process. I am also working to improve my strokes. Yes, we may all want to be “just like Mike,” but too much enthusiasm can lead to pool disaster. I have the bruises to prove it.
So, Michael Phelps, thanks for inspiring so many, and feel free to stop. In the mean-time, for everyone who is moved to start swimming, ask any lane swimmer about pool etiquette. We are happy to answer questions. And if, as winter chills approach, you find that goose bumps are not for you, those of us who enjoy the tranquility of a calm pool will wish you good luck and bid you a fond farewell.
Teri Goldman is a writer and swim enthusiast living in Santa Monica. She
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on September 2, 2008. Read the original PDF.