AS WE ARE PREPARING FOR THIS Thursday’s gastronomic extravaganza, I want to take a moment to share my thoughts on Thanksgiving and why I love it so.
Thanksgiving is, to me, the most American of holidays. It is open to all — Hindu, Muslim, Catholic, Jew, Hare Krishna, Asian, Caucasian, black, Hispanic, and all the other varieties and flavors that make up the American Quilt of people. Each is welcomed to participate in, and enjoy the stocktaking that is Thanksgiving.
Thursday is more than simply a time for Foster Farms and Butterball to make their quarterly sales goals. It is a day when we, as a nation, step back from the battle lines of our racial and religious identities, and join together as one people to celebrate the wealth of our nation and the bounty that is ours.
For some of us, it is a birthright. Being born in Berkeley, Calif., means that I am 100 percent American. I identify myself as having an Italian father and a mother with Irish and German parents, but that is truly not so. My father and mother were born in Brooklyn, and that makes them Americans. My grandparents were mostly immigrants, but that does not make me Italian.
My heritage is merely an identifying mark, one that allows me to feel closer to those of Italian descent than those of other backgrounds, which is really what most of us do. Few of us are actually “Italian,” “African-American,” “German” or any of the other 200 or so countries from which we admit immigrants. The reality is that most of us are born here, and to be accurate, should identify ourselves as American.
We don’t because humans like to find affinity in smaller groups. That’s why we have the Elks, the Moose, the Rotary, Bel- Air Bay Club, Knights of Columbus, the Junior League, etc. We feel secure in smaller groups, and by having that cohesiveness, make connections quicker and easier.
But at the end of the day, on a day like this coming Thursday, all the differences we have fade away under the coma of turkey, dressing, pumpkin pie and a football game on the television.
From the very beginning of our country, we have been blending cultures to achieve something that is an odd mix of foreign and native. We have taken the best of the various contributors to build a new set of traditions on the foundations of the old.
For example, to the traditional Thanksgiving dinner of turkey, dressing, cranberry sauce and whatnot, in my house there will be the Italian influence of an antipasto platter of peppers, salami and olives.
We will have a tapestry of cultures and peoples, all of whom have differing political, theological and economic interests and backgrounds.
This is what Thanksgiving is all about.
It is easy to look around and give thanks for the obvious things. Our newest iPod, the home we live in, the plasma screen TV, maybe even our family. But dig deeper, look at the true wealth we have. The mix of people and cultures that makes us a society. Look at how your life is shaped by the fact that your next door neighbor could be a different race or religion, and yet you both share a commonality.
I am a man richly blessed in my friends. My house could be bigger, my car newer, my bank account fatter, my belly thinner, but at the end of the day, what is truly of value, what sustains me more than food, are the friends I have made and the people I know and love.
Take a moment and look to see the human bounty that surrounds you, value your friends and apologize to those you have hurt. Make your teenagers squirm, tell them you love them. Spend time with your parents, you’ll miss them when they are gone. Be adventurous, invite someone you don’t know that well, but is alone, over to dinner. You’ll be surprise by how much you have in common.
As Americans, we have more in common than we like to remember, because as humans, we want to define our differentness, but joy and happiness are found in seeking the commonality. By focusing on the “American-ness” of our neighbors, we find the bonds that bring us together.
Thanksgiving is not about pumpkin pie and sage dressing, it is about making friends, breaking bread and being grateful for both.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 20, 2007. Read the original PDF.