By Steve Parker Tornante
FIRST, THE BAD NEWS. IF A SKILLED thief wants to take something from your car or the car itself, you don’t stand a chance. Professionals in all walks of life have certain skills and temperaments which make them good at what they do, and thieves are no different. A good thief can be in your car, grab what it is they want, and be out and away in under 30 seconds.
If it’s the car itself they’re looking to heist, thieves can work just like repo men. They even look the part, using flatbed trucks with power winches so your car is gone from its parking spot, driveway or anywhere in the open in under a minute, with no one asking any questions; after all, it’s not their car being taken.
If it’s a big SUV, the Official National Truck of Santa Monica and the Westside, odds are good that within one day after it’s gone missing, it’s already in a shipping container and headed to South America or the Middle East. General Motors products are particularly favored by Sheiks, Kings and other like-types in Bahrain, Dubai, Saudi Arabia and other desert countries because of their legendary air conditioning systems, among the best on the planet. After all, GM used to own Frigidaire.
From Mexico south through Central and South America eager buyers place orders for large SUVs from all manufacturers, especially the larger Jeeps, which are favorites for use by both good guys and bad. Several companies do big business in bullet-proofing and armoring these trucks, which can then be sold to governments, people fearing kidnapping and drug gangs. In this ever-growing market, product is king, and a Jeep Grand Cherokee or Hummer H1 with 4x4 capabilities are apparently worth their weight in cocaine.
They’re sometimes brazenly driven across the border, less than 150 miles away, but border cops are getting better at spotting them if they’ve been reported stolen.
The main problem is with casual thieves, those sloppy amateurs who are often junkies and need to make a few bucks a few times a day. They usually don’t have much regard for the far future, say, six hours from now, and need what they want now. Right now.
For these low-brow types, tools like the infamous Club do work to a certain degree, but it’s mostly cosmetic, causing the thief to move on to a car or truck without a steering wheel lock.
They can be defeated by an experienced crook with a can of liquid nitrogen and a hammer. Spraying the nitrogen on almost any metal will freeze it, make it brittle, and shatter with a hammer blow. Poof! Theft-prevention device, gone, in under 15 seconds. And whatever’s in your car or truck now belongs to the thief, who might have stolen the car in the first place to use during a hold-up. Whatever you left in the car is just a bonus for the thief.
Years ago, locks and alarm systems which also disabled the car’s ignition were good purchases which worked reasonably well. They allowed the crook to start the car and drive a mile or so before it stopped in its tracks, getting the thief away from you, important in the event of a car-jacking, and making it easy for the cops to find.
As every resident of Santa Monica knows all too well, car alarms do nothing but make noise. For those who still have one, do us all a favor and get rid of the damn thing which does nothing but disturb your neighbors.
Now, the good news. LoJack and GM’s OnStar systems both work well, with OnStar sort of the 21st Century version of LoJack.
Both are hidden from view and can report your car’s location to the authorities; but don’t forget that the car has to be reported stolen for them to do their work.
A cell phone in a car can also report its location, but that takes a lot of work by too many people unless a serious crime has occurred (someone still in a car that was car-jacked, for instance). Theoretically, a car or truck with satellite radio might also be able to provide a location, but again, that would be a pretty big undertaking and not currently a service either XM or Sirius provide. Well, maybe when they merge and become a monopoly ….
OnStar, in addition to reporting a location, can also shut down the car or truck in question and, in theory, lock the doors, keeping the thief in while the cops head to the location. But GM hasn’t publicly made use of those features; car companies are already under fire for knowing too much about their customers.
Some new cars come equipped with so-called “black box recorders” to be used in accident investigation, but also could record many other things about the car and its driver. Buyers of these cars are generally not told about these on-board gadgets.
Moral? If you don’t want something stolen, don’t leave it in your car or truck if you’re not also in it. Ever. And remember that a locked, secured garage could be the only thing standing between your Westside pride and joy and its disappearance.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on August 26, 2008. Read the original PDF.