By JULIE MORET Special to the Daily Press
While the days of June Cleaver are long gone, we still live in a society that perpetuates myths for new moms that are straight out of La La Land. As a doula, certified birth assistant, I’ve become clear about two things. The first is that new moms love their babies. The second is that being a new mom is hard.
Aside from that being a colossal understatement, it’s an ugly truth rarely spoken in the light of day and, unfortunately, even more rarely spoken between new mothers.
Between 80-90 percent of all new moms experience some degree of postpartum (after birth) blues. Given these outrageous statistics, isn’t it time we as a society support our new mothers?
Recent tragic events of postpartum depression brought light to this situation. However, there is a vast area of postpartum emotional distress that is not clinical or medical depression, but does need attention. This area is sweetly referred to as the “baby blues,” yet for the suffering mother it is anything but.
The baby blues usually begin between the third and 14th day after birth. The symptoms include lack of sleep, energy or appetite. Emotionally there may be anxiety, worry, confusion, sadness, being overwhelmed, over sensitivity or uncontrollable weeping.
These symptoms last a few hours or a few weeks. Naturally, if any intensify or become chronic, medical support is advised.
The best way to diminish or prevent the baby blues is to prepare ahead of time. Get a support system in place. In generations past, community members would gather around new parents supplying food, childcare and cleaning.
Honor those close to you by asking for specific support. Make a schedule and arrange help ahead of time. Perhaps one friend can bring dinner on a certain night, another might baby-sit while you bathe or nap. Sometimes people don’t do anything because they don’t know what to do. Reaching out lets others know they are important to you. Their assistance and your willingness to receive it deepens your sense of connection and community. This added benefit will prove invaluable over the course of your family’s life.
The first few weeks with a newborn are a perfect time to load up on self care. Hire someone to clean your home, give you a massage or pedicure. Acupuncture, yoga, meditation and hypnosis are excellent resources for returning to emotional and physical balance.
The Chapman Family Center offers postpar-tum doulas who care for new mothers and families. For two weeks worth of nutritious, tasty meals at a reasonable cost, contact And never doubt the benefit of a listening ear, whether it’s a close friend or a professional service like, Mothercare, an in-home counseling with licensed clinical psychotherapists.
The greatest gift a mother can give her child is a healthy, happy mom. So get your support system in place, take a deep breath and receive. And the next time you’re invited to a baby shower, how about holding off on the Bloomingdales booties and instead send over a doula for a day or lunch for a week.
It does take a village to raise a family. Be the village right here in Santa Monica. (Julie Moret Ph.D, recently featured on the Lifetime Channel, provides counseling and personalized self hypnosis tapes. Contact her at (310) 434-9700 or).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on July 1, 2003. Read the original PDF.