Couple celebrates Valentine’s Day
OCEAN PARK Every night before dinner time, Al and Phyllis Weintraub sit out on their beach-facing balcony and enjoy a glass of wine, savoring the beauty of the sunset and the comfort of one another’s company, discussing anything that comes to mind.
Communication — it’s been the key to the success of this Santa Monica couple’s 58-year blissful marriage. Though filled with its ups and downs, surviving illnesses and financial hurdles, their bond has remained intact.
“We’re the best thing that’s happened to each other,” Phyllis, 79, said during an interview recently at the couple’s home in Ocean Park.
Their romantic history dates back to 1947 when the couple met on a blind date, arranged by Al's mother after she had learned about a “nice girl” who had moved into a friend’s apartment building in West Los Angeles. Phyllis and her family had moved to the Los Angeles area from New York to follow her father, whose business was based in Southern California but had been traveling the past year, coast to coast.
Surprisingly, there were no magical sparks, no love at first sight kind of fuzzy feeling during that first date. It was instead a casual meeting between two strangers who went on a double date to the movies, followed by dinner.
“It was an expensive restaurant and she picked the cheapest thing on the menu,” Al, 85, joked of the first date.
While the chemistry just wasn’t there during the first date, sparks slowly started to fly as Al and Phyllis continued seeing one another, Al, growing attracted to her intelligence and wit, and Phyllis, drawn to his kindness.
“The more I got to know her, the more I liked her,” he said.
It wasn’t long before Al popped the question, proposing to his future bride while she was hospitalized, an act that Phyllis said made her realize just how much Al loved her.
On April 3, 1949, Al and Phyllis got married at a wedding chapel off the Sunset Strip and spent their honeymoon at the Fairmont Miramar Hotel.
“I thought he was good marriage material,” Phyllis said.
The couple spent the next 43 years raising a family in North Hollywood, a family that included three children — Andy, a news cameraman for KCBS, Janet, a nurse in Minneapolis and David, a city planner in a Los Angeles area city.
In the early 1990s, Al retired from his job as a salesman and Phyllis from Kaiser Permanente. The two have been volunteering for various local organizations since then, including the Santa Monica Police Department and Wise & Healthy Aging, spending what seems like “countless” hours donating their time, Al said.
The secret to the relationship is keeping the lines of communication open, according to Al, who adds that the couple still fights occasionally, but usually they make up right away. Arguments aren’t always a bad thing, the couple said, because through the years and arguments — whether it was over money or other issues — the fights have only made them stronger, Phyllis said. Although the two were polar opposites when they met, she an extrovert, and he an introvert, only on occasion do they butt heads.
For the couples that claim they never fight, it means that “someone is keeping their anger inside,” Al added.
To Al, “love at first sight” is highly unlikely, believing that it’s not all about looks, but personality and compatibility.
“You have to know what a person is like,” he said. The couple’s fondness for one another was evident, the husband and wife often joking throughout the interview, sometimes locking eyes, speaking of happy memories.
This fondness translates to time often spent together, whether it’s preparing dinner, or volunteering for senior services at Wise & Healthy Aging.
“We’re closer now than we’ve ever been,” he said. Today, on their 60th Valentine’s Day together, the Weintraubs will mark the special holiday dining out, Phyllis wearing a special necklace that was given to her by Al exactly 25 years ago, inscribed with a special message.
“I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.”
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 14, 2008. Read the original PDF.