THESE PAST DAYS HAVE BEEN A nightmare. A madman kills 32 people and wounds 30 more on the Virginia Tech campus, the deadliest rampage in our history. Unbearable grief. In Iraq, in the heavily fortified “Green Zone,” a suicide bomber set off a lethal explosion in the cafeteria of the Parliament building, no less. And reaction along racial lines to Don Imus’ firing shows we have a long way to go.
So, other than all that Mrs. Lincoln, how did you like the play?
Forgive the feeble attempt at humor. It’s either that or cry, which I can’t stop doing.
Sparing me from the endless coverage, I recently had my cable disconnected. My service had been out for a week. I called to complain one day and was still on hold the next. They’d refund the week but, as a matter of principle, I wanted at least a month. Apparently, they’d never heard, “The customer is always right,” because they said no dice. So that’s how I went from 150 channels to rabbit ears.
It was two minutes into “American Idol” before I sensed standing on principle can be overrated. I quickly switched channels to KCET and “Road Trip,” discovering California with Huell Howser. The show is great, but in his Tennessee twang he’s so overly delighted about everything!
“Oh look, a leaf!” If you’re in a bad mood, Huell’s excessive enthusiasm will either get you out of it, or have you on anti-depressants.
On KCET, at 11 p.m., it’s Tavis Smiley. A black interviewer, Tavis is bright and funny, but that sounds dangerously close to Joe Biden describing Obama. (No cable means no Fox Noise reminding me Obama’s middle name is Hussein and then pretending it was an innocent slip.) Last week, Tavis interviewed former Senator Bill Bradley, who made so much sense it pained me he wasn’t president. One issue of Bradley’s is improving voter turnout. Italy is No. 1 in the world at more than 90 percent, while we are No. 139 at less than 50 percent.
The problem is our elections are on a work day. Voting on Tuesday was established in 1845 for farmers because the trip to the county seat to vote could take three days. Congress didn’t want to conflict with religious observance, which left Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday was market day so, voila, we vote on Tuesday. I don’t know about you, but when I vote I don’t drive my tractor to the polls, I walk.
Bradley’s promoting www.whytuesday.org to have elections held on Saturday and Sunday. It’s a no-brainer, which is always a bad sign. But some people, as Maureen Dowd puts it, are “more con than neo.” These folks aren’t thrilled in expanding voter rolls, unless it’s from Forbes 500. If you’re working class, or even if you’re rich, please go to: www.whytuesday.org, sign the petition and e-mail your congressman. In a democracy, we get the government we deserve. Ouch.
The wheels are coming off Bushworld. The White House may have deleted five million e-mails related to Gonzogate. (Some delete button.) Bush’s nickname for Gonzales is “Fredo,” which says a lot about both of them. Only Gonzales could make Ashcroft look not so horrible. And yet, at least Fredo doesn’t sing. To me, Ashcroft’s rendition of his song “Let the Eagles Soar” was the musical equivalent of fingernails on the blackboard.
And Paul Wolfowitz may resign as World Bank president. Bush nicknamed him “Wolfie.” My nickname for W is “WPE” — Worst President Ever. It appears Wolfie’s got himself in a jam for getting his girl-friend a cushy job at State. It’s shocking! Not the bogus job, but that Wolfowitz has a girlfriend. (In “Fahrenheit 9/11” he actually used saliva to comb his hair. Ugh.) Wolfie was booed by World Bank employees who shouted he should resign. And the conservative group “American Freedom Agenda” called for him to step down. Wolfie complains people don’t like him because he worked for the White House. People don’t like him because he’s not likable!
Rummy’s gone; Wolfie and Fredo are going; Ney, Cunningham and Abramoff are in jail; and Scooter’s in line. What’s next, Rove and Cheney perp-walked out of D.C.?
As Bob Dylan said, “I had a dream, only weren’t in it.” After six years of Bush’s “my way or the highway,” I had a dream too last night (see picture). Now I’d like a front row seat to see Bush eat crow. I only hope my cable company waives the re-connect charge.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on April 20, 2007. Read the original PDF.