By RON PROSKY lives in Santa Monica and
FROM TIME TO TIME, I’LL GET ONE of those spam e-mails inviting me to check out a money-making opportunity. They make promises that defy belief. Imagine earning a six-figure annual income with residuals while working a mere 10-15 hours per week in the comfort of your own home! So, in a moment of childish optimism I click on the link to see if anything has changed in the world of online scams.
Jim W. from Okobojee, Iowa was a porta potty repair man for 12 years and last month earned $38,206.02 through this amazing online affiliate program. If you think that’s crazy then you should read what Barb Poppadoplis from Sassafras, Kentucky earned last month after a decade of working the tortilla table at Taco Bell. She tells a story of how her and her friends had a celebratory bonfire in which they used her 1977 AMC Gremlin as kindling. As I scroll down this never ending Web page it’s photo upon photo, testimonial upon testimonial, flashy quotes, huge dollars and so forth. All I’m trying to locate is the fine print and required start up cost, but no, they want my name and e-mail address before anything else. I type in my info in hopes of getting down to facts and figures. At a retail value of $399, they’re going to set me up with a legion of CD Roms and reference manuals for the once-in-a-lifetime steal of $79.99 and a 30-day money back guarantee. I was born at night; I wasn’t born last night.
The evolution of the Internet has brought about so many magnificent additions to our day-to-day lives. I won’t even bother mentioning them because they’re all too obvious, but every silver lining has a grey cloud. With every societal advancement is born a scammer, one who seeks out the most effective methods of squeezing something out of nothing at any expense. In this case it’s two-fold, depleting people of their hard earned money, and crushing their hopes of reaping their little slice of the multi-billion dollar Internet pie.
Last week I got an email from a Ugandan Prince asking me to cash a $30 million check from his associate in America. He’d let me keep $50,000 as a service fee and instructed me to wire the remaining funds to him via Western Union. Six Billion people in the world and I’m the chosen one! Our world is filled with some of the laziest, shadiest, most scandalous people you could ever imagine. They hide away in their little hole, just sucking the goodness and innocence from others. The ultimate parasite. They can’t even look you in the eye while robbing you. They sit at home all day creating scams, hiding behind technology and consequently a new victim is born each minute. Look in the employment section in the back of the paper and focus on work-from-home opportunities, they all cost something. Just once, I’d like to see one of these ventures afford me the opportunity to enroll and get started for free. Let me experience the success firsthand and then I’ll pay.
I don’t get, I just don’t get it. If it were me, and I had a world-class online venture in which I was trying to bring on people, I’d develop some way of letting them test the waters before investing. If we can put a man on the moon and build a car that will parallel park itself, surely we can come up with a way to create such a venture. For the record, I’m no genius, which means I’m not the first one to propose this idea. Hence, in my humble and non-genius opinion, 99.99999 percent of these offers out there are bona fide scams. The legitimate ones should change their beat so that prospects could set them apart.
To all you poor saps who get scammed time after time, keep your chin up. Eventually you’ll find the right opportunity in which you’ll at least break even... or not. My motto is to treat others the way I’d like to be treated. Don’t kid yourself, I’m no saint, but if I steal from you I’ll at least afford you the courtesy of seeing my face and informing you that you are about to be taken. My bottom line will undoubtedly be affected by this tactic, but at least I’ll sleep well at night. And for the few idiots that still choose to sign up, you have it coming!
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on November 19, 2007. Read the original PDF.