By Margaret Altman
It has been almost five years since the deadly shootings at Columbine High School. Information released this month has refocused our attention on adolescent behavior, specifically on issues of predicting problems early enough to interrupt the cycle of unhealthy behavior.
The following article is not an abrupt departure from our usual focus upon issues relating to infants and very young children. We know now that behavior patterns develop from birth onwards. When you look into the bright eyes of your little child and watch that child learn and grow, you can often glimpse some key facets of adolescent behavior patterns.
The teen years are often considered to be a definitive “stage” that begins and ends with designated birthdays (13 and 19). These are the years that parents hope will lead to independence and health. Adolescence, many people will say, is a time to “grow out of” childish behavior and adopt mature ways of thinking and acting. Often, parents look at their youngster’s teenage behavior and believe that this behavior is radically new and bizarre. What we know now about the development of brain and behavior sheds new light on our beliefs about the teen years.
It is time to address the following questions and clear up some of the confusion about the teen years.
Questions from parents: What do we need to look for and be aware of?
Can you predict adolescent problems as early as the first two years? 1. We should think of adolescence as a very critical developmental phase or a series of developmental changes. These changes occur in the brain, as well as in the body. Brain growth and development does not begin or end in childhood. Studies are showing that during the teen years there is both growth and death of brain cells in specific areas. For example, the gray matter in the brain which is the “thinking matter” is overproduced prior to the teen years and then thins out during adolescence. This has led some researchers to describe adolescents as “off-line” in terms of their capacity in planning, impulse control and reasoning. However, during adolescence the brain regions related to sensory functions are largely mature. This makes sense in terms of the teen’s increased desires for sensory input and their interest in music, food, physical stimulation, etc. 2. Adolescence begins earlier and lasts longer. In societies such as ours, youngsters are exposed to and influenced by adult material at increasingly young ages. This, along with good nutrition and health practices, seems to have resulted in altering the age at which kids mature physically and begin to act like teens. Some youngsters are physically maturing by age 10 and 11, and others are imitating and acting like adolescents when they are 8 and 9 years old. 3. Research shows that early childhood behaviors, specifically those that are disruptive and impulsive begin in infancy and are very resistant to change. There are studies showing that 18-month-old infants who have difficulty calming down, stopping behaviors, and adapting to changes may continue to demonstrate these behavior patterns throughout childhood and adolescence. Behavior has a history, whether it is healthy behavior or unhealthy behavior, and behavior patterns become deeply entrenched at an early age. 4. Adolescent development is influenced by environmental and genetic factors. In this media-driven age, teenagers are heavily impacted by advertising and programming that is scientifically formulated to get their attention and direct their behavior. Teens are acutely sensitive to what they see and hear, and the media is well aware of how to engage and target their appetites for high risk, high stimulation activities. 5. During the expanded teen years there is even more need for adult guidance and support, and less time for adults to engage in helping teens. Many parents find it increasingly hard to find the time to tune into their teen’s behavior and this role becomes the primary role of the peer group.
Before giving you some hot tips on how to cope with teen and pre-teen issues it might be helpful to introduce you to a strength building model of behavior. If you look at four key areas of your youngster’s behavior it will help guide you to that child’s strengths and weaknesses. These areas are the ability domains that make up emotional intelligence.
The four areas are: The ability to delay impulsive responding; the ability to self-soothe or regulate emotions; the ability to shift focus between internal or external factors (inner feelings or outer situational demands) and the ability to set healthy goals and to work towards them.
Ask yourself if your youngster has strengths or weaknesses in each of the above ability domains and you will have a good idea of where that youngster needs support. 1. Always try to put your youngster’s behavior into context or framework. For example, consider whether the actions that your child is doing are new or if they are a continuation of old behavior with a new twist. Radically new behavior should be looked at from the perspective of whether it helps or harms the child or other people. If you suspect danger in the new behavior, deal with it immediately and don’t wait for this “stage” to end on its own. 2. Pay attention to your youngster’s moods and behaviors even when things are going well. Take the time to observe behavior and ask questions about how your youngster is feeling. 3. Choose your battles carefully. You cannot change every nuance of your child’s behavior. 4. Never argue when you or your youngster are angry. Use your own self regulation strategies to calm down before you deal with the problem. 5. Persist in maintaining communication with your teen or pre-teen. Make efforts to have good eye contact and to engage the child in daily conversations. 6. Model what you want your youngster to learn in terms of respecting others and following rules. 7. Problem solve with your child as soon as they can understand the basic problem-solving steps. Help them to identify problems, to figure out ways of setting goals and making alternative plans. 8. Always look first at your youngster’s strengths, abilities and positive behaviors when you want that child to change something. Parents can look at the ability list and find real strengths in at least one of those areas in every youngster.
Transitioning into adulthood is a very difficult task. Some youngsters take a longer time to accomplish this and they need more support and direction from parents and concerned adults. The author welcomes questions and comments on this and other topics and you can (Margaret Altman is in private practice in Sherman Oaks with Dr. A Korchmarev and (818) 788-7580).
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on March 30, 2004. Read the original PDF.