THE BIG BOUNCE Owen Wilson does what he can to drag this crap-py comedy along, but he’s held back by an inert narrative and a stagnant supporting cast.
THE PERFECT SCORE A morality play that doesn’t play very well at all, due to bad pacing, lame dialogue and a half-baked plot held loosely together by a series of preposterously opportune circumstances.
WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON! Forty years ago, this film would have been a hit. Today, it misses.
THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT A no-thrills thriller that gets sillier as it lists toward a wholly preposterous finale.
ALONG CAME POLLY Ultimately sags due to an absence of chemistry between the leads and a surprising shortage of crisp comedy.
TORQUE An eye-popping, all-out assault on the senses that makes very little sense. A big-budget shill for designer motorcycles, Budweiser and Mountain Dew, set to a kinetic soundtrack.
CHASING LIBERTY Despite an arrant disregard for verisimilitude, this is an undeniably pleasant fairy tale about an 18-year-old girl coming of age under highly unusual circumstances.
MONSTER Serves as a grim reminder of humanity’s very real and limitless capacity for evil. Charlize Theron delivers a career-defining performance.
BIG FISH If you’re willing to lose yourself for a few hours in a surrealist fish story, well, it’s hard to imagine anything better than what Burton has conceived here.
HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG Manages to be compelling despite a host of implausibilities thanks to the lead actors, both of whom bring such conviction to their roles that what transpires almost seems feasible.
CHEAPER BY THE DOZEN An insipid flick about a dopey dad who can’t control a pack of wild kids that seems to have been put together solely for the purpose of separating parents from their hard-earned dough.
CALENDAR GIRLS Boasts an appealing British sensibility and echoes the uplifting themes that made “Billy Elliott” a surprise hit stateside a few years back.
THE COOLER Wayne Kramer’s lowdown on the desperate lives of lost souls in Las Vegas is easily one of the best bets this year.
THE BARBARIAN INVASIONS An emotionally charged, and often hilarious tale about a dying man who reconnects with old friends and his estranged son.
THE RETURN OF THE KING This film, the best of the year, seals the deal: Director Peter Jackson has delivered the most spectacular film trilogy of all-time.
SOMETHING’S GOTTA GIVE If you enjoy lots of jokes about May-December romances and erectile dysfunction, this is the film for you.
IN AMERICA An inescapably moving elegy about pain and loss and hope and renewal that unabashedly wears its broken heart on its tattered sleeve.
THE LAST SAMURAI An entertaining film, but highly derivative of superior antecedents such as “Dances With Wolves” and “Unforgiven.”
THE MISSING Ron Howard had the key elements of an extraordinary film at his disposal — great premise, cast — yet, frustratingly, it never quite realizes its potential.
MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD Russell Crowe makes a strong case for a fourth consecutive Oscar nomination in a thinking person’s action-adventure movie.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on February 6, 2004. Read the original PDF.