By STEVE BREEN is a “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” Republican and a member of the U.S. Postal Service, delivering mail in Santa Monica. He
I AM NOW WILLING TO CONFESS TO THE Conspiracy of World Domination. Yes, it’s true. All of us rich, white, racist, corporate, war mongering cannibal Republicans are spending all our spare time figuring out how to keep minorities from the Elysian Fields of apostolic socialism. I was just talking about this very subject the other day with my good friend Donald Trump while we were getting our haircuts together over at Rudy’s Barbershop. This was between conference calls to our brokers over our recent Halliburton and Exxon trades while running guns to Darfur. We’re Republicans — because not everybody can be on welfare.
Yup! HIV/AIDS is a CIA plot to kill all colored people! The Rev. Jeremiah Wright got it right! When he inferred in a recent televised sermon that Condi and Colin weren’t “black” enough, he got that “Wright,” too! Don’t tell anybody but Condi and Colin actually are white! It is all part of our super-dooper secret plan with our extraterrestrial allies at Area 51 to turn white people black (think Michael Jackson in reverse). They speak “white,” they act “white,” they dress “white,” yet they have no rhythm. We evil white devils are also responsible for climate change and long lines at the DMV.
This praxis of “Liberation Theology” is delivered from the eccentric “uncle” that escaped from Obama’s locked attic. Without going into a major discussion of Rev Wright’s polluted distortion of Liberation Theology (or is it “Gibber-ation Theology) and its roots in Marxist class struggle and the Hegelian revival of dialectical materialism vis-à-vis Schopenhauer’s antithetical critique (“… a colossal piece of mystification which will yet provide posterity with an inexhaustible theme for laughter [in] our times…”), basically it’s all “Whitey’s” fault … for everything.
“I have no problems with my enemies … but my friends … they’re the ones that keep me walking the floors at night”
“[The] issues are rarely simple. One thing I’m proud of is that very rarely you will hear me simplify the issues” — — Barack Obama channeling Warren Harding Conspiracy — it’s not just a theory any-more. — Rev. Jim Wallis (Rolling Stone, Feb. 22, 2007) — Barack Obama
“If you want to understand where Barack gets his feelings and rhetoric from, just look at Jeremiah Wright”
Lemme get this straight … what possesses a man of Mr. Obama’s alleged Messianic demeanor to attend a cultish church as a 20-year member of a perverse reverse racist, knowing that a substantial portion of that pastor’s message is an old meat loaf leftover from the 1960’s? How can Mr. Obama posit himself as the “candidate of change”when the core of his surrogate beliefs come from the ravings of a minority grievance deviant that holds white people responsible for, not only for 9/11, but for all the ills of the entire world since the birth of Jesus? If I’m not mistaken, blacks and whites were jumping out of the Twin Towers in equal numbers to escape the flames without the benefit of racial quotas.
Mr. Obama has stated publicly that he doesn’t, “… make any important decisions without first consulting [Pastor] Wright …” Maybe that’s why Mr. Obama has merely acknowledged being “present” rather than rendering a self directed “aye or nay” in his legislative voting record. Pastor Wright was probably sucking the air out of a room somewhere while bombastically asphyxiating his audience with their own self inflicted victim-hood and was subsequently unavailable for consultation.
For Mr. Obama to softball on his pastor’s “controversial” venom in a convoluted, 5,000-word speech, while the liberal intelligentsia grovels in its somnambulistic message of masochistic white guilt and moral equivalency, is like slamming a half dozen shots of tequila before you speak at your next 12 Step meeting. That the minority grievances of the 8,500 moonie-eyed member Trinity United Church of Christ could become the defining social milieu of 300 million other Americans succinctly demonstrates the tyranny of a fractious minority over the plurality. Is this where I get in line for the Kool-Aid?
While Rev. Wright and Mr. Obama preach the ecumenical gospel of Liberal victim-ology, rarely, if ever, will one see the terms,“personal responsibility/accountability” in sermons or stump speeches as a hallmark. Their central themes usually source from the nebulous realm of absolution from ownership of one’s own conditional plight. Now Obama’s pastor spews racist and anti- American vomitus while the self-professed Party of Tolerance hypocritically intones that we should give Obama and his odd “uncle” an affirmative action hall pass.
After all, it’s the “Wright” thing to do.
Originally published in the Santa Monica Daily Press print edition on March 26, 2008. Read the original PDF.