Madeline Davis spent years convinced she was not smart enough for school. She dropped out at 16, certain that trying and failing would only confirm it. She earned a 4.0 grade point average at Santa Monica College and was chosen as student speaker for the school's 96th commencement.
"It's been a long journey," Davis said, "as well as a fresh start."
In her first English class back at SMC, Davis studied the difference between a "growth mindset," the idea that ability can be developed, and a "fixed mindset." She had long placed herself in the second category — until the professor described his own struggles in school and being told he was not smart. Now he was teaching college.
"I thought, if he can do it, so can I," Davis said. "I've been able to maintain a 4.0 my whole time here at SMC," she said.
Davis lost her mother to cancer at 14, just before her middle school graduation, a loss that pulled her into drugs, grief and depression. She dropped out two years later. Newly sober, she entered the workforce and found strengths school never revealed. She worked at Zara, Lush and Bloomingdale's and was promoted to manager at 18.
"I never knew how capable I was until I was put in leadership roles," Davis said. "I always hated school because I was told I was bad at it, but I was also told that I am a great people person, which is what brought me to retail. Working in retail gave me the experience and confidence to thrive in every aspect of my life."
Those years made her want to return on her own terms. "Leaving school at 16 to work retail gave me the life experiences I needed to truly want to go to college," she said. "Not just go through the motions because I feel like college is what I have to do. But genuinely want to expand my knowledge and become the best version of myself."
A first attempt at an SMC course ended after one week when a close friend died of an overdose. During the pandemic she earned her high school equivalency, went to therapy and trained as a hairstylist, but chronic health problems, including scoliosis and a pinched nerve, made standing all day unsustainable.
"Although I am only 25, I feel like I have lived many lives already," Davis said. "That shaped me into the woman I am today. The importance of having a healthy social life and work life at a young age helped me grow much faster."
At SMC, communication courses gave Davis her direction. A communications studies professor, Julie Chekroun, ran class as a conversation. "I used to be told it doesn't matter what I think," Davis said. "To then have an authority figure care what I have to say ... made me excited."
Chekroun made her want to teach. "If I were a professor, I would want to be just like her," Davis said. "She inspired me to want to be a teacher; she planted the seed that my ASL class watered."
An American Sign Language course confirmed it. "The ASL course did not change my confidence; it pushed me towards a decision I had unconsciously formed," Davis said. Going in with some knowledge, she found classmates leaning on her. "My classmates were asking me for help, and it felt so empowering," she said. "After helping my classmates, it just clicked that this is what I am supposed to do."
Now eight years sober, Davis credits Alcoholics Anonymous, family, friends and her professors. "I wouldn't be so good at public speaking if it wasn't for AA," she said. She recently won the persuasive portion of an SMC intramural speaking competition with a speech on the stigma surrounding addiction, arguing the best way to fight it is education and firsthand experience with sober people.
"My story is not special; a lot of students there are just like me," Davis said. "That is why I try to be extremely open and vulnerable with my story, to pave the way for others like me."
This fall, Davis will begin studies at Emerson College. "As soon as I got to that campus, it felt like home," she said.
Her longer goal points back to SMC. "My goal is to eventually teach at SMC. I believe I can do the most good in my life if I were a professor at SMC," she said. "Whether I end up teaching, being a counselor, a mentor, or something else, I just hope I end up giving back what I got from SMC. SMC and the amazing professors there gave me hope, confidence, courage, and a career. I hope to inspire other students to believe in themselves and reach their full potential."